My Books

"We'll take it slow. Trust me on this. I know what I'm doing. I've trained many a sub, most with far less potential than you. I'll train you to serve me so perfectly you'll never want to go back to your dull little vanilla lifestyle, I can promise you that.

"But we'll do it at my pace, using my methods, in my time frame. The very first thing you'll need to learn is patience. It's a virtue not many people have, even those who profess themselves to be submissive. In fact,there are very few true subs. It's something you're born being, I think. Kind of like being gay or left-handed." He grinned and winked at Johnny.

"From our conversations, I gather you have never had any particularly strong submissive or masochistic fantasies. That leads me to believe you aren't necessarily hardwired that way. Which doesn't mean you aren't teachable. Or inclined, with a little prodding and a lot of loving discipline, to become my sexual slave."

Johnny shivered a little as he said this. The fact was, though it hadn't been on the surface of his fantasies, he did have secret dreams about whips and chains. Dreams that only slipped into his consciousness when he was masturbating, and close enough to orgasm so his inhibitions were lowered sufficiently to let such taboo fantasies slip by.

"I do, you know," he whispered suddenly. Throughout their conversations over the weekend he hadn't yet admitted it, but now he said, "I have had those fantasies."

Eric raised his eyebrows a little and smiled a half smile. He didn't ask for more details, but simply waited.

Johnny went on. "I dream about it sometimes when I'm, uh,touching myself. I have this recurring fantasy - " He stopped. He felt shy but determined. He wanted to say it out loud. Intellectually he knew how silly it was for him to feel shy with Eric. They had just spent the past thirty hours together, much of it naked and in each other's arms.

Yet the power of this fantasy still had a strong hold on Johnny. It was a secret he'd kept, almost even from himself, for all his sexual life. Now he tried to find the words, halting at first, but gathering courage from Eric's gentle smile of encouragement. He knew Eric wouldn't judge him, and suddenly he was eager to share it.

They were both sitting up in bed, Johnny still leaning against the headboard, his chest bare, his lower half covered in Eric's fine, dark blue Egyptian cotton sheets.

Eric was sitting on the side of the bed, completely naked and completely at ease in his nudity. His long, slender fingers rested lightly on his thighs, the half moon of each nail perfectly manicured. As Johnny glanced down at his lover's aristocratic hands, he slipped his own beneath the sheets, self-conscious about his work-roughened hands, the nails ragged and bitten from nervous habit.

Eric tilted his head slightly, his black hair falling over one eye as he watched Johnny, waiting for him to speak. He was perfectly still, as if watching a wild animal, willing it to trust him.

Johnny, still looking at Eric's hands, said, "Sometimes, when I'm lying in bed alone at night, and I'm, uh, pleasuring myself and I'm hard and ready, just about ready to come, this image will flash through myhead. When I'm that hot I forget to think of it as something dirty."

He looked up at Eric's face and amended. "I mean, I used to think of it as dirty. Back when I was busy denying everything that turns me on!" He laughed without mirth. "Now I don't know what I think." As Eric tilted his head a little more, Johnny flushed and admitted, "I know. That's a lie. I do know what I think. I think this is amazing." He waved an arm around the room, encompassing the whole experience of the last two days in his gesture. "Fabulous. Incredible!" He paused and then said in a more subdued voice, "I want to be more honest, you know? I want to be honest with you and with myself, maybe for the first time."

"The fantasy..." Eric gently coaxed.

"Yes. Yes, the fantasy, the image." He lowered his voice, looking away, as if seeing it in his mind's eye at that moment. "I see myself bound. Bound in rope and sometimes chains. I'm naked. I can't see my face, but I know it's me. And there's someone behind me. A man. I just see his arms. Strong arms and powerful hands. He's always got a whip. A big bullwhip, and he snaps it around my body from behind."

He paused and Eric waited before finally saying, "And then?"

"Well, that's it really. I know that's not much of a fantasy, huh?" Johnny looked embarrassed. "Shit, I can't even fantasize properly!"

"Not at all! That's not what I meant. I was just wondering how full-blown these fantasies of yours were. This sounds like more of a feeling, a freeze-frame almost of an idea."

"Yeah, I guess. I guess that's it. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it was always enough to send me over the edge."

"And interesting, isn't it, that this image of yours involved another man? Even when you were still telling yourself you were straight? How did you reconcile that in your mind?"

"Well, I didn't. I just ignored it. Like you said, it's amazing what you can deny, I guess. I never thought about it afterwards, either. It was just this weird little thing that helped me jerk off faster. I didn't really appreciate its significance, if there even is any."

"Oh no question of that. I think it's very significant. What gave you the push to climax? You, bound and helpless. Not only bound and helpless, but at the mercy of another man. Think of the implications, my love. Think of what this little seed of an image, this flash of a fantasy, could become. With the proper introduction - with the proper training." He smiled now, the curve of his lip suddenly cruel. Johnny drew his legs up so his body was hidden in the sheets.

Eric stood up and began to dress. "As I was saying before, there are a few things I want you to pick up and have ready for me when I return. Do you remember what they are?"

Johnny nodded, swallowing so his Adam's apple bobbed.

"Well?" Eric turned back toward Johnny. Eric had pulled on a pair of black silk bikini underwear, his cock and balls alluringly packaged within.

Johnny's eyes dropped to Eric's crotch as he whispered,"Yes, I remember."

"Tell me. Say it aloud."

Johnny took a breath. Why was this so hard? They were all items one could get at any variety store - well, most of them. Why did the thought of repeating the list suddenly seem so difficult? Eric watched him amoment. For the first time in their new relationship, his voice took on a sterner tone, an edge of steel beneath the kindness. "I want to hear you say it. This is the beginning of the training you say you want. To submit to me,you will need to learn to open yourself utterly to me. A part of this process involves a breaking down of the ego. Right now you are Johnny Wilson, an athletic, good-looking, sexy, very hot young man who knows it. Even if you didn't appreciate your sexuality, you had to know how the world perceives you. And that colors how you behave and how you think about yourself. Right now, your ego tells you you are in control. You are your own man.

"But to become my slave, to truly submit, as opposedto simply going through the motions as part of some game, you will have to break that down. To give up your private sense of self. To give yourself completely to me and allow me to rebuild you, in a sense.

"If the process is done with love and respect, not out of a desire to exploit you, but from a realization you were born for this and I was born to teach you, the result is the most powerful and sensual union you can imagine."

Eric, who had pulled on his suit pants as he spoke, now sat on the bed, reaching out to touch Johnny's arm. "I've never gotten there, Johnny. I came close with one man. We were in love, but he was not a true submissive. He was sexy and he was willing, but his heart wasn't in it.

"Submission is different from just having masochistic leanings. What I mean is, it's one thing to get turned on from being whipped. That can simply be a matter of sensation. The stimulation of nerve endings and the erotic appeal of having a strong man take control of you. But submission, what I think of as true submission, is a total giving of oneself to another. It's a romantic concept. I know you've said you want it, you've said that several times over these past two days."

As Johnny nodded, starting to speak, Eric silenced him with a finger to his lips. "No, I don't expect an answer right now. I don't want one, because you don't know yet what it means. You were aroused, in the throes of passion when you whispered those sweet promises, and I don't hold you to them. Not at all. On the contrary, I wouldn't allow it. Not so early in the game. You have plenty of time to figure out what you truly are. What you truly want.

"And the cool thing is, if you find out you are not submissive, I'm okay with that too. You'll still be my golden boy." Johnny smiled. Eric added, "So now. Step one of your training. Tell me what you're to buy. Tell me about the items that will be used on you to help break you down before I build you up again."

Johnny took a breath and then recited, "Rope. Half an inch thick and easy to tie and untie. A ruler. Let's see, oh yes, a woman's scarf. Um... " Johnny paused, trying to think if he'd forgotten anything.

Apparently he had because Eric prodded, "And...?"

In a flood of embarrassment Johnny remembered. The most important thing, or at least the most embarrassing thing! "You weren't serious when you said..."

Eric raised his eyebrows. "Lesson number two. I'm always serious when I'm talking about your training. Dead serious. And you'd better too, or you'll be punished."

Punished! It sounded almost ridiculous - Johnny was a grown man who could easily overpower Eric in a physical contest. Yet he couldn't deny the sudden swelling of his cock just at the word. Eric exuded a kind of power Johnny didn't yet understand but definitely responded to.

Slowly, feeling the blood in his cheeks, he said, "A dildo. A small one."

"That's right. A small one, because why?"

"Because, um, you're going to use it on me."

"Use it how? Lesson number three. I want you to be direct. I don't like euphemisms. Your cute, shy way of talking - things like, 'touching yourself' and 'pleasuring yourself' - those are gone. From now on, you say what you mean. You are direct and honest about your feelings, and you use real words to describe those feelings. If you're jerking off, and I ask you what you are doing, you tell me that. I told you to buy a dildo and I told you why. Now you remind me. Explicitly."

Johnny bit his lower lip. Softly he said, "You want me to buy one that isn't too big because you're going to use it on my ass."

"Yes. That's a start. Use it how?"

A deep breath and then, "You're going to stick it up my ass."

"Correct. And do you remember why I'm going to do that?"

"Yes," Johnny said in a whisper.

"Tell me."

"To get me ready for your cock."

Eric grinned. "That's right. And that's not the only reason. Do you remember why else?"

"Please," Johnny's voice was imploring. Why was this so difficult?

Reading his mind, Eric said, "This is hard for you because you aren't ready to submit yet. If you were, you'd be able to obey this very simple request to answer me plainly. Because this is so new for you, I'm going to give you a break." He smiled, again the cruel curve apparent as he said,"It's to teach you that you are, or will become, my object. If I choose to debase you by sticking a dildo up your ass, you will accept it because, and only because, it is what I want. What you want will have nothing to do with it. Do you understand?"

When Johnny didn't answer Eric said, "No, I can see you don't. That's okay. We have time, baby. I'm in no rush. In fact, the process is as much fun as the result, I assure you." He patted Johnny on the head in a paternal gesture and said, "Now get up, lazybones! I have to go to work!"